It was June 17, 2008 when I saw my old best friend. We saw each other as I was going down the stairs and he was going upstairs. I heard him say: "Hello Yancy"
*I'll continue this tomorrow*
posted by Ricendithas @ 11:21 PM,
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Currently, at college, I find it quite irritating to have my classmates make fun of me. It is also irritating to hear all their voices. Not that I don't want them to take but if you're going to be with them, you're going to boil with anger. It's just that they are not considerate enough to think that others are paying a huge amount of money to learn and so they need to study well. I am one of those people who wanted to learn but because of the environment I had, I think it's going to be a hell to have them as classmates.
Not only are they noisy but also bad influences. Think of it this way, they're just only first years and then some of them are already smoking and some are alcoholic. They are also making fun of me by teasing me and indirectly saying that I'm confused. You know what I mean where in fact I am not. Arrrrggh! I am the midst on exploding and I am really desperate to cope up with all our lessons. I don't know what to do?
Not only my classmates but I notice that there are more and more people who stares at me every time I pass right through them. For me, it's not a positive or a good thing. Do I really look really ugly that I can distract others? Or maybe, do I really catch their attention even though I pass by discreetly? Today, I heard a group as I passed by told me, indirectly of course, REGARDS DAW, KANANG NAKA VIOLET NA BAG. Well, I don't know if it was me, because my bag was really blue but looks like violet from afar. Also, I was just the one who passed by and nobody else.
Another one is I have this classmate of mine that I really hate for being frank in front of me. Come to think from it she directly told me: MACOMPARE KITA SA KAIBIGAN KO. Hell I care about you and your friend. You are that trying hard or maybe desperate to have friends in our classroom with that attitude? NO THANK YOU.
As of the moment, I really hate college. I HATE MY CLASSMATES, I HATE MY SOCIO TEACHER, I HATE MY SCORES IN THE RECENT QUIZZES. So this will be my ticket to a failure in first year college. Good luck to me.
posted by Ricendithas @ 11:33 PM,
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*Sigh*
And I thought everything was almost right, but I was wrong. He was still communicating on his partner. He told me that he will change but no, he told lots of lies most especially to my mom. I don't know how to treat him anymore after what he did. It's up to us, my mom and my two sisters to look on our selves.
I REALLY HATE HIM! Is his new "SON" more important than his real family? How could he do this to us?
I hope that God will enlighten him and make him realize all the mistakes he have committed.
It's okay for me to have a broken family or rather separated parents, but he should do his part on supporting our education.
Till then, but there's going to be more entries since I'm back to depression.
posted by Ricendithas @ 6:08 PM,
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It's been a long time since my last post. Well, it indicates that I'm not emo anymore. I could observe that being emo triggers me to make some entries in this blog. Not that I'm against or anything to blogging, it's just that I hate myself being down and lonely.
About school, it's my graduation this April 5, 2008. I never felt so happy after being legible to graduate since I was one of the pending lists for graduation because of CSIP. We had our what I call the "MAKE-UP, MAKE-UP SESSION" with the Badjao's (A tribe in Davao). It was worth it, though. Everything is over, by everything, I REALLY MEAN EVERYTHING. My friends had new set of friends and I think that they don't care about me, so I try to give them space. I don't take it seriously because I know; I'm no one for them. I am happy to know that I will graduate with honors, all those four years of hard work, it really paid off.
About the other issue, my friend, I'm through with it. I'M FINALLY OVER IT. NO MORE. It's college time, NEW FRIENDS, NEW LIFE, MORE CHALLENGES. By the way, I still don't know what course to take, I mean, I have to choose between the two: Computer Science or Computer Engineering. Just between the two. To take a four-year or a five-year course?
Still, I am depressed because I won't be receiving a laptop or a notebook for a graduation gift. I knew this when my aunt told me to determine the size of my shoe because my other aunt who is living in the states will give me a pair of shoes as a graduation gift. *sigh* I really want to have a laptop, badly. All my friends have laptops and only I, I think won't be having one. Knowing that my course is related to computers and that, well, I have to admit that I am somehow, inclined with computers and this is how I am being paid? NO LAPTOP. How rude. But still I could understand our situation, we don't have lots of money to buy everything what we want.
About my father, he is currently in Manila. He will come home in my graduation because he wanted to go up the stage. I have a hatred towards him. I REALLY HATE HIM FOR WHAT HE'VE DONE. DÉJÀ VU, indeed, that is what's happening. He keeps on repeating the same mistake to my mom. I wish that I could have a perfect, or maybe a close to perfect family.
Still, there are lots of things to do. My life in the outside world begins right after my graduation. Till then.
posted by Ricendithas @ 10:24 PM,
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It's about to end. Tomorrow is the day I've been waiting for. Tomorrow, at exactly 11:00 AM, everything changes. No more exams, no more school. I'm totally free from all the pressures of school. I want to go wild tomorrow and release all the excitement I feel deep inside. It's about time to enjoy life and forget about all the worries. I am really hyper today, yet I still wasn't' able to start studying. I should start specially knowing that Math and CLE are going to be the last two exams of High School. I'm going to miss my High School days most especially the times wherein I've my laughter.
Another thing that happened today, I don't know, should I be happy or what. Today, an ex-friend approached me and told me that he isn't mad at me. I don't know. I should be happy because I was able to hear his voice again. LOL. Seriously, the person happily approached me from the back, and I wasn't expecting that because my intention in going to their classroom was to get something from a friend. Still, I'm happy that everything's okay now. Apparently, another friend and I had a minor fight or a misunderstanding. What is happening to me? After I earned a friendship, I am to lose another? Who knows, maybe we will be able to work this out, like what we had with my other friend. Today, I also had one mistake in our IT examination. How stupid, that is the thing I fear the most. Well, it happened.
As of know, I have to study for me to be able to leave High School properly. Good luck to me and to tell you, I am not in the mood for studying. So, let's see what I can do tomorrow.
posted by Ricendithas @ 7:36 PM,
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