An Unfinished Statement
Here is an unfinished and an unpolished journal I wrote when I was still in the third year of High School. I don't mean to offend my classmates but they left me with no choice.
Here goes nothing...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm just another average typical person who lives in the philippines. i consider myself to be above the average for i believe that i can do so much intelligent acts than others. i experienced a lot of pain and suffering. but despite those, i have friends who were there and supported me until the end. whenever i feel bad, they were around to comfort me. whenever i'm happy they were also around to laugh with me. i have parents of whom i consider to be supportive yet anomalous. they quarrel a lot and i cannot stand it anymore. later did i discovered that my dad impregnated another woman. i don't know how did my mother was able to cope with that but me, starting when i heard that news, i lessen my contact to him. how dare him did that to my mom. though it may be very painful, i still have to respect him since he is the provider and their is no one else to help us. left with no choice, i still obey him.
i go to a school filled with students who are conscious of their looks and whom who could not control themselves. it is like in the jungle in our school, fighting here, fighting there, blabbing here, blabbing there. everywhere seems to be a right spot for conversation. what i think of this school is that they have very strict administrators and
when i looked at mia, i told myself that what was in her that cannot be found in me. technically, you may say, she's a woman and i'm a man so obviously we have a lot of differences. it wasn't the gender i'm talking about here, it is our appearance. it seems that we do have the same looks, especially all the blemishes which are evident from afar. mabye it is because of her self-confidence but that is not the basis here. i cannot understand her especially that when she assumes that she is beautiful, which is not. i am angry to those people who imagines themselves in front of the crowd that they are such those of who we can see in the television. i can see that she lacks in attention that she does everything just to have everybody's focus.
"hey i'm going out with my crush tonight" says her.
"yeah right. whatever, as if i care." my reply to myself.
she was really annoying especially knowing the fact that she is being proud of being her. frankly speaking, she doesn't look beautiful at all. with all the hair in her upper lips, the pimples in her face and the such. it is very disgusting to tackle such topic.
"we are going to the prom together" she said.
"hell i care. if i were to have a holographic girlfriend then i can have her as my prom date and we can rock the party." i told myself.
holographic images seems to be funny that you may think of it as a ridiculous idea. i don't care about that at all. i can imagine myself dancing with my dream girl, the perfect girl that would suit me and that i love the most. she can be anyone but there's one problem - i lack self-confidence that i tend to be no one in school. i get jealous whenever i can see couples roaming around the open field. i keep on thinking, is there a possibility that someone would fall for me? i keep on wondering, there is no more possibility that somebody would like me. this is a foolish idea. with this look? it is like finding a needle over a hay stack.
"excuse me miss, would you mind if i will be my prom date?" i rehearsed.
will i ever have a prom date? is it possible? this will be the line that i will say whenever i can see the woman that would possibly go with me in the dance. along then came arvin. he may be a jock in the class or you may call him the most good looking but you should know him inside and maybe outside.
"you know, a lot of my students before asked me to tell you that they wanted to be their prom date" sir blab to the whole class.
"how pathetic. a girl indirectly asking a man to be her date?" i reacted. "where is the maria clara that we're talking about here?"
he is such a pain in the head. he is so irritating and very noisy. i cannot understand how did he manage to be in the honors class? he is not that obviously an intelligent person. he acts like he is a kid especially when standing in the crowd. he is like a dancer when doing it. i don't know what's wrong with him that he can't even stand sturdy with his two feet.
a shocking revelation was revealed to the class that day. it was so shocking that it made me very angry. if i wasn't able to control myself then i don't know what things can i possibly say. it is that arvin was the highest in our chemistry class. i was very disappointed since his being the highest is because of his excused absence and imagine that he was abesent consecutively for a week and the sad thing is that there were quizzes in all of those days. he was a favorite student or a teacher's pet of sir. all of those quizzes that took a lot of my hardwork were eliminated from his record and caused his grade to incline and to mine declined. this is very unfair especially to those who exerted much effort to learn.
at dawn that day, while crossing the street, i saw my history teacher and to my surprise she told me a breaking news. it was like their were heavy thunders and strong lightnings.
"yancy, i'm shocked. you're grade declined from 88 to 74. i was surprised that you received that grade. i double-checked it and found out that it was 81" she said.
"miss, is this for real?" i asked.
"yes and i'm not joking. this is for real." she replied.
i was very very disappointed that i want to breakdown. it is very shame for me that i was really expecting to have a high grade or maybe an average grade on all my subject. i was, at first, really happy because i have high grades on some of my subjects eventhough i wasn't even expecting those but when i heard those words, i don't know what should i do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well.. it's not yet finished.. but I hope to end this someday...
Here goes nothing...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm just another average typical person who lives in the philippines. i consider myself to be above the average for i believe that i can do so much intelligent acts than others. i experienced a lot of pain and suffering. but despite those, i have friends who were there and supported me until the end. whenever i feel bad, they were around to comfort me. whenever i'm happy they were also around to laugh with me. i have parents of whom i consider to be supportive yet anomalous. they quarrel a lot and i cannot stand it anymore. later did i discovered that my dad impregnated another woman. i don't know how did my mother was able to cope with that but me, starting when i heard that news, i lessen my contact to him. how dare him did that to my mom. though it may be very painful, i still have to respect him since he is the provider and their is no one else to help us. left with no choice, i still obey him.
i go to a school filled with students who are conscious of their looks and whom who could not control themselves. it is like in the jungle in our school, fighting here, fighting there, blabbing here, blabbing there. everywhere seems to be a right spot for conversation. what i think of this school is that they have very strict administrators and
when i looked at mia, i told myself that what was in her that cannot be found in me. technically, you may say, she's a woman and i'm a man so obviously we have a lot of differences. it wasn't the gender i'm talking about here, it is our appearance. it seems that we do have the same looks, especially all the blemishes which are evident from afar. mabye it is because of her self-confidence but that is not the basis here. i cannot understand her especially that when she assumes that she is beautiful, which is not. i am angry to those people who imagines themselves in front of the crowd that they are such those of who we can see in the television. i can see that she lacks in attention that she does everything just to have everybody's focus.
"hey i'm going out with my crush tonight" says her.
"yeah right. whatever, as if i care." my reply to myself.
she was really annoying especially knowing the fact that she is being proud of being her. frankly speaking, she doesn't look beautiful at all. with all the hair in her upper lips, the pimples in her face and the such. it is very disgusting to tackle such topic.
"we are going to the prom together" she said.
"hell i care. if i were to have a holographic girlfriend then i can have her as my prom date and we can rock the party." i told myself.
holographic images seems to be funny that you may think of it as a ridiculous idea. i don't care about that at all. i can imagine myself dancing with my dream girl, the perfect girl that would suit me and that i love the most. she can be anyone but there's one problem - i lack self-confidence that i tend to be no one in school. i get jealous whenever i can see couples roaming around the open field. i keep on thinking, is there a possibility that someone would fall for me? i keep on wondering, there is no more possibility that somebody would like me. this is a foolish idea. with this look? it is like finding a needle over a hay stack.
"excuse me miss, would you mind if i will be my prom date?" i rehearsed.
will i ever have a prom date? is it possible? this will be the line that i will say whenever i can see the woman that would possibly go with me in the dance. along then came arvin. he may be a jock in the class or you may call him the most good looking but you should know him inside and maybe outside.
"you know, a lot of my students before asked me to tell you that they wanted to be their prom date" sir blab to the whole class.
"how pathetic. a girl indirectly asking a man to be her date?" i reacted. "where is the maria clara that we're talking about here?"
he is such a pain in the head. he is so irritating and very noisy. i cannot understand how did he manage to be in the honors class? he is not that obviously an intelligent person. he acts like he is a kid especially when standing in the crowd. he is like a dancer when doing it. i don't know what's wrong with him that he can't even stand sturdy with his two feet.
a shocking revelation was revealed to the class that day. it was so shocking that it made me very angry. if i wasn't able to control myself then i don't know what things can i possibly say. it is that arvin was the highest in our chemistry class. i was very disappointed since his being the highest is because of his excused absence and imagine that he was abesent consecutively for a week and the sad thing is that there were quizzes in all of those days. he was a favorite student or a teacher's pet of sir. all of those quizzes that took a lot of my hardwork were eliminated from his record and caused his grade to incline and to mine declined. this is very unfair especially to those who exerted much effort to learn.
at dawn that day, while crossing the street, i saw my history teacher and to my surprise she told me a breaking news. it was like their were heavy thunders and strong lightnings.
"yancy, i'm shocked. you're grade declined from 88 to 74. i was surprised that you received that grade. i double-checked it and found out that it was 81" she said.
"miss, is this for real?" i asked.
"yes and i'm not joking. this is for real." she replied.
i was very very disappointed that i want to breakdown. it is very shame for me that i was really expecting to have a high grade or maybe an average grade on all my subject. i was, at first, really happy because i have high grades on some of my subjects eventhough i wasn't even expecting those but when i heard those words, i don't know what should i do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well.. it's not yet finished.. but I hope to end this someday...
posted by Ricendithas @ 3:17 PM,
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